More whine. What else?

Not much to report.

The floor is fixed, so that's good. This weekend will be all about getting the place in order. And getting a new stove/furnace, since my current one short circuited the other day. After a week of microwave food, I cannot wait to cook something decent again.

Yannick is not doing too great. He's been attacking the other kids in daycare and just overall won't listen and throws fits. I'm very worried about him. I can't write too much about it because I'll start to cry.

I am on my second week having my period. Isn't one of the perks of a period (of time), that it has an end??? Where's my end??? People say I should see a doctor about it. I just had it with doctors though. What is he going to tell me? Good luck and wait what happens next month, is my guess.

After an incident related to the above paragraph last week, I managed to attend my new pilates class this week. Although I could not get the worries out of my head (see second paragraph), it did do me a lot of good. I'm staying at this class and I'll try to plan some time to do extra excersises at home.

I am fully aware that my pity party for one is lasting way too long by the way. I do not know how to snap out of it. If I didn't know any better, I'd say I'm suffering from a mild depression. But since the whole world is already medicalising everything, I'm just going to say that I need a good firm kick in the butt.

Love you all.

Anyone seen my optimism?

I seem to have lost it. It's a pretty vital part of my personality, if not the backbone, if not the heart. So if you happen to see it, please send it back to me.

As for an update...

- The doctor's visit with Yannick went... inconclusive. She says it's pretty much a 50/50 percent thing. He could either grow out of the door obsession and the echoing, or it could get worse. If it does, in a years time we will start with some tests. For now, we are just enjoying the little kid and his endless enthusiasm (maybe HE stole my optimism. Darnit).

- The apartment is nowhere near done. There's a leak underneath the floor and they pulled out half of it (the floor). It's still open because the ground underneath first has to dry. Which means my furniture is stacked to the walls and Yannick cries every time he comes home with me. He wants to go to the old house or his dad's. Awesome, no?

- I went to a Coldplay show on Thursday and it rocked my world. They played Lost, I was happy. Lost is my divorce song. I mean... it's the most fitting, don't you think? Anyway, when I first left the husband, this was the song that was on repeat for a long while.

I hardly ever go to SHOW shows. With videos playing, butterflies flying, balls bouncing and fireworks popping, I mean. And I liked it. Total lazy entertainment, great music (shut up) and Chris' sweat splattering against my cheek (I was pretty close). Okay, maybe I could have done without the sweat, but it was still great.

- I'm saving up (as soon as the ridiculous amounts of cash stops disappearing from my wallet) for some sort of new laser treatment for my skin. I know, I'm vain. Please shut up. I'm 36 years old and I'm really, really tired of my skin getting more and more 'youthful'. God, when I was in high school, I had one zit each month (yes, at that time). That was it! Now? You can call Neil Armstrong and tell him there's a new moon to discover on my face.

Whine. Bitch. Repeat.

Again.

I'D REALLY LIKE TO BE HAPPY AND CHIPPER. But first I need to find my optimism. Stat.

I'm probably the last one to find this, but fuck it

Thanks for making my day, Matt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlfKdbWwruY

Nonononononono. No.

Sitting at work, and all I want to do is cry. For no apparent reason. Not good. Really really not good.

The last thing I need right now is a burnout. However small.

Time to make a serious effort to catch up on some sleep I guess. And take a couple of days off. Which I can't do because my staff is enjoying their ridiculously long vacations. Four weeks, five weeks, sure... Bastards.

The GoGoGo Week (6/30 - 7/7) - Part One

Y'all know how I can bitch and whine about being tired and stressed out. Well, I needed a week off work and off school and off mommy duties and off the Divorce and relax instead. Of course, I immediately packed this week with planes, trains and automobiles in order to follow the Band that is Back around Europe. Here's a little report on the week and how much fun and exhausting it really was.

Tuesday - Crown Princess opens our latest project

Yes. This was supposed to be the second day of my vacation. But. We had invited the Crown Princess of the Netherlands (Her Royal Highness Princess Máxima of the Netherlands is her full title) to come open our latest project. And to our astonishment, she accepted the invitation. I was in charge of this event, and it completely bit my ass. It's like Michelle Obama visiting your work. And you're in charge of everything. And your everyday work isn't magically disappearing either. Maybe that will give you an idea of the workload.

Another wonderful aspect of this day, was that is was also the deadline for our annual report. Great. Sure, I can do that. I'll just clone myself.

At the end of the day, the event turned out to be a great success and the annual report was online and at the printer. And I couldn't do anything anymore but cry and pack my suitcase.




The Princess and the Mayor of The Hague








Wednesday - We're off to Paris because that's where the Band that is Back, is.

End 2008, at work, I met Merel. Merel is our favorite new freelancer who helps us out whenever the budget permits (because we always need help anyway). Merel likes good movies and great music, so I figured I'd give her ticket to the Paris show, maybe make her a new fan.

So wee early Wednesday morning, Merel and I drive off to Paris. We get there by 11.30 or so, but of course then the real fun starts and it takes us another hour to get to the parking lot. Our hotel turned out to be great (cheap/clean/friendly staff /good location) and we set out to meet Alethea and Sarah. All of us head to the venue where a line is already forming.

I'm having luxury problems. I have four tickets (two balcony and two floor), and I just need three. I was supposed to swap the two balcony tickets for one floor with a Dutch DMB fan, but he bailed on me last minute. And acted like that didn't matter at all. Even when I had to sell my ticket for 15 euros. Fuck him though. The Band that is Back is back and that's pretty much all that matters.

After saying hi to Bobbo and his friend Anne-Sophie and getting something to eat, we see a looooooooong ass line. We decide to take the balcony seats. Since Bobbo is taping and can't get his stand in, I give him my third row tickets so he can tape the microphone to the rail. With my now sixth row tickets, I manage to sneak Sarah and Alethea in to the balcony. Sarah babysits Bobbo's gear and Alethea takes an empty front row seat.

I fucking rock. Really.

And then the Band that is Back comes on stage. In L'Olympia, almost as legendary as Paradiso in Amsterdam. And I want to cry.

[Let me get this in right quick: I cry a LOT when I'm tired. People who know me and my jetlags can attest to that. Sorry.]

I want to cry because he's really not there. And while I know this is old news and to only now realize it is profoundly silly, I really hate it. And I really hate Jef Coffin for a split second. That is, until his first solo.

I read boards. I know what y'all are saying. That the Euro setlists were boring. That they better bring it at Alpine. That they need to bring back [insert Keep Dreaming song]. Basically everything that makes me wonder how far your spoiled little heads are up your asses.

The Band is Back. They are having fun. They are radiating energy. They are pouring out happiness. They are making Good Music.

No, it's not Blue Water >> Digging a Ditch >> Help Myself >> Halloween or what the fuck ever. It's mostly BWATGGK and I. Fucking. Love. It. So quit bitchting and shut up :)

We're all having a ball. The crowd & Carter & Dave & Tim & Rashawn & Jef & Stefan.

But not the Sad Man formerly known as Boyd. I worry about Boyd. Is he under the weather? Depressed? Homesick? On his period? Not good.

At the end of the show, Carter throws about 5 sticks at Alethea before she catches it, we go to the Latin Quarter where Bobbo and Anne-Sophie cannot find us while we are enjoying a Snakebite and that wrapped up night 1 of my little DMB tour. Result: a little mourning, a little worry, a little confusion, shitloads of fun and a new fan: Merel.




Next stop: Rotterdam.

I'm having a guy moment here

Jake Gyllenhaal (I hope I spelled that right) is a great actor.

And the best part about him is that he's so fucking hot, it makes me want to cry.

Friday night movie night - Harry Potter gazillion

Ah, Harry Potter. The Potter. Potty. Potterus. Every now and then, an author stands up, writes a masterpiece (or seven) and gets kids to read again. When that masterpiece is not only a thrilling and captivating story, but also excellent children's literature, what more can we ask for?

A circus. Apparently.

Video games, dolls, board games, wands, capes, hats, stickers, key chains, pants, caps, underwear. Etcetera. And movies.

I've seen them all. And with the exception of number 4, I was disappointed. This time was no different. I was excited to finally see it, and unsatisfied the whole way through and the entire way home from the theater. The next day I realized why - once again, it didn't live up to my (weird) expectations. I guess I still secretly hope that this time, they will do the right thing. But once more, it was one big inside joke fest, rushing through the story because 2.25 hours was the most the studio would allow and they had to cram in the essentials because of the grande finale, which apparently will get the necessary two instalments.

And I will see them. And be excited to. And secretely hate them.

Thank God we still have the books. Can't wait until Yannick is old enough. Hopefully he'll let me read them to him.