It's a bit the same now. Not that Belgium or England are that beautiful, I wouldn't dare suggest that. But it was a fun, weird, exhilarating and insightful week. I liked that Yannick got included in it (up till now, he was not here for my DMB- slash Americanophilia).
It was fun, because Sarah was here, she rules, and I got to show her around some parts of Den Haag and Utrecht and Yannick developed a mild crush on her.
We went to Antwerp with an angel on our shoulders. Smooth ride into Merksem and transit into the center? Check. Nice strolling and eating wonderful crap (chocolate, wafels, Belgium fries with sauce tartare)? Check. Getting at the venue half an hour before the doors open and still ending up front row deadest of center? Check. Sarah having a 'moment' with Carter and scoring a set of sticks for us? Check. Smooth travels back home? Check.
It was also fun because my old roommate Anne-Martin got deflowered (first DMB show) in Amsterdam and he obviously, love love LOVED it. Front row again, got punched in the stomach during the crazy run up there, great poster, Sarah tutored me in getting the set list, Dave announced the Orange victory on the USA football/soccer team.
It was fun because I liked being at the O2 in London. I mean... the venue (or maybe just the surroundings) may be crap, but the kind of crap you need to experience once. I had laughs, I tasted a Flat White (a latte, but with emphasis on the coffee instead of the milk) made by the World Champion Barista who now sells the goods at a men's clothing store in shady Hackney. I didn't find the blues bar with open mic (pronounced MIKE) night, but I did get to browse through the British Museum collection. I walked about 60K steps and have suffered foot cramps at night since, but that only reminds me of the walking I did, with the people I love.
Manchester was a nice bonus. I could relax again, which made traveling a whole lot better. And after two days in a functional, but not great hotel, the room up there was le awesome. Especially the shower. Showers rule. Unless they don't. Which is when you appreciate a full hot spray in a roomy cabin that much more. The crowd (not in the shower - at the show) was... rowdy. Well, some of them. Drunken Englishmen who yelled things I really could not make out. But it was nice to have a seat for one show, we got a full Sugar Will with the correct lyrics (according to my knowledgeable seat partner) and Two Step... Carter on Two Step... how can anyone get tired of that version of Two Step? Of course, since I was wearing my #41 shirt, I got that as well. Talked a lot of American politics, felt like a fool for not knowing the right translation for Jihad. Perhaps the funniest part of the evening came after the show, when we went into this snack bar for a late night Ham Cheese on Toast and Chips. Run by an older Indian couple (?), the guy clearly having been on his feet way too long, English customers yet again drunk and incrompensible, Indian guy completely out of his element, burning toast, tearing up burgers, getting yelled at by Indian woman. Of course, I wanted mayonnaise on my chips. Ask the old Indian guy: "Do you happen to have any mayonnaise?" Guy points at an assortment of plastic bottles on the counter and screams: "IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE!!!", Indian accent and everything. I'm guessing it's one of those You had to be there things, but it was hilarious.
Enlightening moments:
1. I'm a pleaser. I was brought up, subconsciously taught (my mother 'showed' me), that I need to make everything right what wasn't wrong in the first place, for everybody, without regard for my own sense of entitlement - until I feel that entitlement when it's too late, which makes me overreact. This wonderful lesson (which comes at the old age of 30 f-ing 7, apparently) started to come to me when my car broke down in the parking lot after the Amsterdam show. I clearly have some unresolved anger towards the divorce settlement. Although I know (or knew) I compromised myself into oblivion for the sake of Yannick, I was crying, cursing and gritting my teeth at one in the morning, because I felt that HE took MY car because of HIS debt which HE made when I wasn't even in the picture yet, and here I was because of the demise of my 'new' 1500 euro crap death trap, stuck in the slowest of stop trains, because "it'll be better for everyone else if I don't say anything and give him the damn car".
2. Part two of the lesson came when I was (unsolicitedly) juggling everyone else's content with the trip to and in England. I wasn't simply being considerate - I was contemplating lying over every puddle so no-one would get their feet wet. None of my friends asked me to do that. I just did. I'm sure they didn't even notice. I sure as hell hope not. I probably didn't even manage to 'keep everyone happy' - I mean, it's not my responsibility in the first place. And I got a terrible stomach ache, stressed out and at one point felt plain frustrated because of it. Am I responsible for something beyond my control? No. Is anyone going to be unhappy in the first place, unless I try to control what I can't? No. Am I making what I fear worse because I'm trying to control things beyond my reach (also known as the self fulfilling prophecy)? Possibly. Lesson yet to be learned: I need to be more Work Esther in Real Life. Easier said then done, but admitting the problem is half the solution (har har).
3. I need to quit smoking. Cue collective sigh. I know - I've bored y'all with this 'epiphany' too many times. Smoking is just such a drag (har har). Not one time during this last week, smoking was FUN. It was only a necessity. On top of that, is the obvious: my dad died of smoking. My stepdad quit 25 years ago but still suffers from chronic bronchitis and gave us a scare yesterday when what fortunately turns out to be a pneumonia, was thought to be COPD. But like I told Sarah, I need a plan first, because otherwise I'll quit quitting with the first ounce of weight I gain. And like Robert told me, quitting before Creek might not be the best idea. So I'm thinking in between Creek and the appending sail trip in June and GM's visit in August.
4. Mics are pronounced mikes.
5. Explaining the money I blow on DMB is something 'other (non DMB) people' will never understand. I'm not even going to try anymore.
6. Feeling bad because in spite of the shitloads of novels I've yet to read, I bought and reread High Fidelity feels good.
I had a more than fun week. I don't want to be here yet. I dread going back to work tomorrow, where some new media crisis is waiting for me (as I heard this morning - ANNOYING). But I'm not here yet, so I'm going to dwell on last week some more. May not be Saturn, but it was definitely rivers and mountains and oceans and stars.
