proof of tiredness

i really, really really really really, really really really really need to be done with school. it's a little too much right now. to the point where i just want to drink a whole lotta coffee and smoke cartons of cigarettes. and both are out of the question right now.


on the bright side: 3 exams left!!!! only three exams. and a thesis paper and a research paper, but let's put that aside for a while. at least until i can breathe again (breathe again, breathe again). so i'm just keeping my eye on the prize: 3 more exams and i'm done with that stuff for a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong time.


tomorrow's my baby's birthday. i'm giving him a book and a two-day getaway in the country. the latter is a surprise. i hope he likes it. especially since i'm sacrificing what was supposed to be my super relaxed on my own hanging out doing nothing day off work. but that's cool. it's not every day that he turns 33.


must sleep now. i hope that this will be the nigth in three months where i can actually sleep the whole night through, and not wake up at 2. i hopes i hopes!

boo

wow. that second to last post was far more bitter and whiney than i intended it to be. it was supposed to be sarcastically funny, but it turned out to be just grumpy. sorry about that.

MUST BE THE HORMONES.

hahahahaha.

i crack myself up.

yay, let's rejoice and celebrate it's friday!!

10 things about being pregnant that people don't talk about

1. you're not instantly on cloud 9. in fact, cloud 9 is a myth. bliss has never been further away.
2. the first three months, you are insanely tired. really, you've never been this tired. in bed by 6.30 pm? or earlier? every single day? no problem. the fourth month? if i'm lucky, i'll stay up until 9. you go party girl!
3. some women don't get morning sickness, or they just get only *morning* sickness. me? 24*7 sickness. and no, the fact that it is all for a good cause really does not help
4. you can say goodbye to your libido. so does your partner
5. as soon people know you're pregnant, they start treating you like you're a retard.
6. you can not simply disagree with anyone anymore, because from now on, "it's your hormones"
7. people will give you their opinion on how to be pregnant, how to give birth and how to raise the baby. unasked.
8. there should be a support group for daddies to be. really. how come no one asks *them* how *they* are feeling? not to mention they need to take care of their sick, grumpy, growing women for 9 months, without complaining. i'm soluting all daddies out there.
9. if i get one more glare from you when i answer you that no, i will not quit my job, i will punch you in the face. real hard. and i WILL blame it on my hormones in court if i have to.
10. the only thing that helps when sick, is barfing, farting and or burping.

there. everything you never wanted to know.

i love you, dave

"(...) you never have a perfect democracy and you never have freedom - it's impossible because as soon as you have them they no longer exist. So that idea that we've got them and are therefore beyond reproach is frightening."

say hi

the beauty of having a blog is that you can post anything. so now i'm going to bore you all with a very blurry picture of our work in progress. just because i can and because the picture is interesting to me.


the ultrasound was really awesome by the way. but surreal. you can see your baby-to-be rocking out in your belly (he/she really was waving its arms-to-be like it just didn't care), but you don't feel a thing.

oh. now, just because it's 9 am, i'm going to throw up.

we have a winner

for the last 2.5 months, i have been thinking how i would blog this. in my head, i wrote paragraph after paragraph. but now that i can finally tell you, i only feel like writing down the essence (but don't be surprised if within one hour, i'm starting to ramble on and on about it).

anyway... i'm pregnant :)

it speaks

our computer died. rip, computer.


we're getting a bling bling new one!


but right now, i can only work on my laptop from work. and access the internet through the VPN from work. which means i can't fully access the internet, because of our webmarshall. which means i can't read xanga blogs. it's really annoying. i mean REALLY.


in other news, i'm depressed about not travelling. well, depressed is not the right word, but for lack of a better one... anyway, i can either go before june, or wait another year. needless to say, i want to go before june. but where? that's the hard part. it would have to last me a while and i'll only have one week, so i'm thinking california because, well, it's california. but i also want to see new places and see people that are not in california. so there, have pity on me and my luxury problems.


of course, it would be nice to get some america over here. like alo, or even dmb, or all of y'all. but i guess the netherlands are too close to france. merde.


i should get ready for my four hour meeting. ever notice how productive four hour meetings are? right - not so much.


ramble, ramble.


i'm so excited about this day! but i can't say why. HA!

bladeeblooh

since there's nothing going on that i can talk about, i have stolen shayna's idea and give you my wrap-up of 2005:


1. What did you do in 2005 that you'd never done before? move into my (our) own home


2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? i never make new years' resolutions.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth? yes, one of my oldest and best friends, elvira.


4. Did anyone close to you die? no, for once!


5. What countries did you visit? this is really awful. belgium and germany. no wonder i feel like crap


6. What would you like to have in 2006 that you lacked in 2005? time to relax


7. What date from 2005 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? january 7th. that was the day i left betty behind.


8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? starting a new job, reconstruction of our home and being in school, all at the same time.


9. What was your biggest failure? not going to the states


10. Did you suffer illness or injury? nothing serious


11. What was the best thing you bought? everything house and my new purse.


12. Whose behavior merited celebration? maarten, because he handled my frequent absence


13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? world leaders.


14. Where did most of your money go? the house.


15. What events did you get really, really, really excited about? the gorge. and then i didn't go.


16. What song will always remind you of 2005? black betty and dontcha


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
Thinner or fatter? thinner
Richer or poorer? poorer
Happier or sadder? just as happy


18. What do you wish you'd done more of? relax, travel


19. What do you wish you'd done less of? work/study


20. How did you spend Christmas? 1st christmas day my parents and maarten's mom and stepdad came to dinner. 2nd christmas day we went to visit maarten's dad.


21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? probably ellis?


22. Did you fall in love in 2005? no


23. How many one-night stands? 0


24. What was your favourite TV program? LOST


25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? no


26. What was the best book you read? imprimatur, which i haven't finished yet. NO TIME.


27. What was your greatest musical discovery or rediscovery? rediscovery: blof


28. What did you want and get? a job, a home, a nice grade average


29. What did you want and not get? time (i'm repetitive, i know) and travel (ditto)


30. What were your favorite films of this year? er. i think i only saw one 'new' movie


31.What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 33 and i went to work and school


32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? enough sleep, flying to america


33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2005? jeans, skirts and tops


34. What kept you sane? my head


35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most/least? eh. okay, something different this year. thumbs up: roelant fernhout. thumbs down: madonna


36. What political issue stirred you the most? it's amazing that our leaders tell us terrorism should be the issue that keeps us awake all night, yet mother nature is kicking our asses left and right.


37. Whom did you miss? the people that couldn't be here


38. Who was the best new person you met? my co-worker annette.


39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2005: NOTHING. can i sleep now?