What is it with everyone touching the Holy Grail these days?! First Blof, then that bitch Lois or whatever the fuck her name was and now flippin freaking fucking Justin Timberlake?
GOD!
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
Esther in Wonderland
Setlist:
Heartbreak Warfare
Vultures
Belief
I don't trust myself (with loving you)
Perfectly lonely
Why Georgia
Waiting on the world to change (Brown Sugar)
Crossroads
Half of my heart
Bigger than my body
Gravity
---------
Free falling
Who says
Friends, lovers or nothing
As promised – a more ‘mature’ report on Wednesday night’s events.
A little background information:
- My reaction to the occasional JM song I’ve heard over the years has always been ‘hum hum hum’ at best and ‘meh’ at worst.
- The incessant comparison the Dutch seem to make between DMB and Mayer irks me to no end. To me, it was Vonnegut to Meyer. Dining in Tuscany to ordering in Domino’s. Seriously. What’s far more outrageous in my opinion, is that Mayer is way better known over here than DMB. How the fuck is that possible? Not Mayer's fault, but won't make me like him any better either.
- I’ve received numerous first hand reports on the offensive treatment that Mayer gives his fans. Uncool (I’m lame).
- All of the above has lead me to really, REALLY dislike the entire Schmayer phenomenon.
However, a couple of friends, whom I respect dearly, are fans. It is because of them, and one in particular, that I figured I needed to see the guy live or shut up in hating him. And so I did - I went. And now hopefully I dare say I have a somewhat informed opinion on the guy.
The setting at HMH is nice – the acoustics are great and it’s just small enough to let you believe that it’s not a complete corporate pop factory. The opener was Lisa Lois, some winner of some Idols rip-off, who screamed her way through her songs and then had to audacity to completely BUTCHER Hallelujah (full version to boot). Let’s just say Lisa should be glad we’re not allowed to carry weapons in the NL. That’s the Holy Grail you’ve put your little paws on, Lisa. Don’t. Ever. Touch. It. Again.
Fast forward to the main act. The stage for John Mayer and his band was scarcely lit. Except for one very bright spotlight, which followed around Le Schmayer during the entire show. Really, lighting directors? Do you really want to affirm me in my preconceived notions? Nice job, in that case.
Although I was underwhelmed with the first song (which the girls couldn’t believe, but whatever – it just didn’t do anything for me), by the fourth song (I Don’t Trust Myself) my thoughts were: “Shit, this night might actually result in me having to tell Sarah that I like it. Really, like it. Darn”.
But then with Perfectly Lonely, I got a strong sense of déjà vu; Blues riff. Song. Guitar solo. Chorus. Extended solo. Didn’t we just hear that, times four?
Fine, let’s give the guy a break. John Mayer is very musical. John Mayer is very talented. John Mayer is technically highly skilled. There. I said it.
But come Crossroads, leading tune to my adolescent blues obsessions, it was obvious: John Mayer never sold his soul to the devil. Didn’t even come close. He is not feeling the pain nor the high - he only compromises to both. His guitar is not trembling in the extension of his emotions. It is a showcase. And this is the reason why to me, Le Schmayer remains ‘hum hum hum’ at best. It’s because John Mayer is just adequate.
What’s weird, is that I care. I care that I see a guy so incredibly full of himself, that he must be highly insecure (in the ‘play’ below, I may have ridiculed, but I didn’t make anything up. These are things he actually said). I care in my guess that this insecurity -> self absorbedness -> settling. I guess I care because like I said, it’s obvious he could do much better, had he had a tad of modesty. Had he found the sound of his guitar more beautiful than the number of conquests notched up that thing.
It’s not helping that his constant verbal diarrhea is causing our little group to focus more and more on the painful display of See me! Love me! Twitter me! and the teeny bopper crowd’s response, instead of paying attention to the music. Exceptions were the great lighting to Gravity (hey – I’m visually oriented. I can appreciate a good light show) and one of my favourite ‘hum hum hum’ songs: Who Says I Can’t Get Stoned.
Highlight of the evening: hilarious times with the girls
Lowlight of the evening: the guy dry fingering his girlfriend up at the rail
Best thing I could say to Mayer: you made me doubt my previous opinions
Worst thing I could say to Mayer: your Ego is even worse than I thought, if that's even possible
Overall result: I don’t hate him anymore. I just think it’s a fucking shame he’ll never reach his full potential.
Heartbreak Warfare
Vultures
Belief
I don't trust myself (with loving you)
Perfectly lonely
Why Georgia
Waiting on the world to change (Brown Sugar)
Crossroads
Half of my heart
Bigger than my body
Gravity
---------
Free falling
Who says
Friends, lovers or nothing
As promised – a more ‘mature’ report on Wednesday night’s events.
A little background information:
- My reaction to the occasional JM song I’ve heard over the years has always been ‘hum hum hum’ at best and ‘meh’ at worst.
- The incessant comparison the Dutch seem to make between DMB and Mayer irks me to no end. To me, it was Vonnegut to Meyer. Dining in Tuscany to ordering in Domino’s. Seriously. What’s far more outrageous in my opinion, is that Mayer is way better known over here than DMB. How the fuck is that possible? Not Mayer's fault, but won't make me like him any better either.
- I’ve received numerous first hand reports on the offensive treatment that Mayer gives his fans. Uncool (I’m lame).
- All of the above has lead me to really, REALLY dislike the entire Schmayer phenomenon.
However, a couple of friends, whom I respect dearly, are fans. It is because of them, and one in particular, that I figured I needed to see the guy live or shut up in hating him. And so I did - I went. And now hopefully I dare say I have a somewhat informed opinion on the guy.
The setting at HMH is nice – the acoustics are great and it’s just small enough to let you believe that it’s not a complete corporate pop factory. The opener was Lisa Lois, some winner of some Idols rip-off, who screamed her way through her songs and then had to audacity to completely BUTCHER Hallelujah (full version to boot). Let’s just say Lisa should be glad we’re not allowed to carry weapons in the NL. That’s the Holy Grail you’ve put your little paws on, Lisa. Don’t. Ever. Touch. It. Again.
Fast forward to the main act. The stage for John Mayer and his band was scarcely lit. Except for one very bright spotlight, which followed around Le Schmayer during the entire show. Really, lighting directors? Do you really want to affirm me in my preconceived notions? Nice job, in that case.
Although I was underwhelmed with the first song (which the girls couldn’t believe, but whatever – it just didn’t do anything for me), by the fourth song (I Don’t Trust Myself) my thoughts were: “Shit, this night might actually result in me having to tell Sarah that I like it. Really, like it. Darn”.
But then with Perfectly Lonely, I got a strong sense of déjà vu; Blues riff. Song. Guitar solo. Chorus. Extended solo. Didn’t we just hear that, times four?
Fine, let’s give the guy a break. John Mayer is very musical. John Mayer is very talented. John Mayer is technically highly skilled. There. I said it.
But come Crossroads, leading tune to my adolescent blues obsessions, it was obvious: John Mayer never sold his soul to the devil. Didn’t even come close. He is not feeling the pain nor the high - he only compromises to both. His guitar is not trembling in the extension of his emotions. It is a showcase. And this is the reason why to me, Le Schmayer remains ‘hum hum hum’ at best. It’s because John Mayer is just adequate.
What’s weird, is that I care. I care that I see a guy so incredibly full of himself, that he must be highly insecure (in the ‘play’ below, I may have ridiculed, but I didn’t make anything up. These are things he actually said). I care in my guess that this insecurity -> self absorbedness -> settling. I guess I care because like I said, it’s obvious he could do much better, had he had a tad of modesty. Had he found the sound of his guitar more beautiful than the number of conquests notched up that thing.
It’s not helping that his constant verbal diarrhea is causing our little group to focus more and more on the painful display of See me! Love me! Twitter me! and the teeny bopper crowd’s response, instead of paying attention to the music. Exceptions were the great lighting to Gravity (hey – I’m visually oriented. I can appreciate a good light show) and one of my favourite ‘hum hum hum’ songs: Who Says I Can’t Get Stoned.
Highlight of the evening: hilarious times with the girls
Lowlight of the evening: the guy dry fingering his girlfriend up at the rail
Best thing I could say to Mayer: you made me doubt my previous opinions
Worst thing I could say to Mayer: your Ego is even worse than I thought, if that's even possible
Overall result: I don’t hate him anymore. I just think it’s a fucking shame he’ll never reach his full potential.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
JM @ Amsterdam – a play by play
I did it (do you think I've gone too far?). I went and saw Le Schmayer. Now, I will write an honest review, I will - but I can't do that before I get some stuff out of my system first. Stuff that has been festering inside since the first note played last night. So here it goes: the 'review' my bitchier side demanded to be written.
The Ego Has Landed - a John Mayer story
Starring:
The Ego – John Mayer
The Girls – Joyce, Merel, Karen, Esther
Mute Background Singers – Mute Background Singers
Scene: HMH in Amsterdam. The stage goes dark, John Mayer and band are approaching. The crowd erupts in cheers.
THE GIRLS: The Ego has landed!
[Guitar solo]
JOHN MAYER: You know, I’ve been doing this for eight years now… and Europe was always something I had to do. Like, “I guess I have to do Europe”. Yeah, I know – such a drag. Anyway, now that y’all have found me on twitter (crowd roars), I can finally feel the love connection here. Twitter me! See me! Love me!
[Guitar solo]
JOHN MAYER: (choking back tears) They say a lot of things about me… about how I’ve had so many girlfriends… (crowd roars. Mayer looks up and stares into the distance, raises fist) But not one of them can say I ever cheated on ‘em!! (crowd applauds) I just had so many women because I had some more livin’ to do. You gotta do some livin’ you know. If you can’t give your whole heart anymore, you gotta move on to the next one, you know. So do you want to live a little more with me?
[Guitar solo]
CROWD: Yes, John. We will gladly fuck you and not expect you to call us again – because that’s really what you’re saying, right?
[Guitar solo]
JOHN MAYER: (to mute background singers) Ladies, we all know you’re just here to make me look better. Say yes if you want to stay on the payroll.
[Guitar solo]
MUTE BACKGROUND SINGERS: Yes, John.
JOHN MAYER: Because I seem to have no sense of rhythm when I make my moves. But neither do you. So now I don’t look as bad. And since you can’t sing either, you make me look even better. And to top it off, the stage is almost dark and there’s just one spotlight, focused on me the entire night. Only! On! Me! I’ve got it made!
[Guitar solo]
MUTE BACKGROUND SINGERS: Yes, John.
[Guitar solo]
THE GIRLS: Wilson!
[Guitar solo]
JOHN MAYER: I’m in Amsterdam, so I will be talking pot now (crowd laughs hysterically). If I repeat the words “Fucking and Smoking and Drinking” over and over again, I bet I look real badass.
[Guitar solo]
In reality, I go to bed early every night in the company of my warm sweet laptop, because otherwise my voice will give. You will find out right after the break when I try to wring out the chorus to Free Falling.
[Guitar solo]
THE GIRLS: Bless you for not playing Daughters, John.
The Ego Has Landed - a John Mayer story
Starring:
The Ego – John Mayer
The Girls – Joyce, Merel, Karen, Esther
Mute Background Singers – Mute Background Singers
Scene: HMH in Amsterdam. The stage goes dark, John Mayer and band are approaching. The crowd erupts in cheers.
THE GIRLS: The Ego has landed!
[Guitar solo]
JOHN MAYER: You know, I’ve been doing this for eight years now… and Europe was always something I had to do. Like, “I guess I have to do Europe”. Yeah, I know – such a drag. Anyway, now that y’all have found me on twitter (crowd roars), I can finally feel the love connection here. Twitter me! See me! Love me!
[Guitar solo]
JOHN MAYER: (choking back tears) They say a lot of things about me… about how I’ve had so many girlfriends… (crowd roars. Mayer looks up and stares into the distance, raises fist) But not one of them can say I ever cheated on ‘em!! (crowd applauds) I just had so many women because I had some more livin’ to do. You gotta do some livin’ you know. If you can’t give your whole heart anymore, you gotta move on to the next one, you know. So do you want to live a little more with me?
[Guitar solo]
CROWD: Yes, John. We will gladly fuck you and not expect you to call us again – because that’s really what you’re saying, right?
[Guitar solo]
JOHN MAYER: (to mute background singers) Ladies, we all know you’re just here to make me look better. Say yes if you want to stay on the payroll.
[Guitar solo]
MUTE BACKGROUND SINGERS: Yes, John.
JOHN MAYER: Because I seem to have no sense of rhythm when I make my moves. But neither do you. So now I don’t look as bad. And since you can’t sing either, you make me look even better. And to top it off, the stage is almost dark and there’s just one spotlight, focused on me the entire night. Only! On! Me! I’ve got it made!
[Guitar solo]
MUTE BACKGROUND SINGERS: Yes, John.
[Guitar solo]
THE GIRLS: Wilson!
[Guitar solo]
JOHN MAYER: I’m in Amsterdam, so I will be talking pot now (crowd laughs hysterically). If I repeat the words “Fucking and Smoking and Drinking” over and over again, I bet I look real badass.
[Guitar solo]
In reality, I go to bed early every night in the company of my warm sweet laptop, because otherwise my voice will give. You will find out right after the break when I try to wring out the chorus to Free Falling.
[Guitar solo]
THE GIRLS: Bless you for not playing Daughters, John.
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