Hey you, get off of my cloud

I just hung up with a clearly intoxicated ex-husband. Yannick is here with me, safe in his bed, by the way. That's not the issue. The issue is that he's an alcoholic and he's going down that slippery slope again (I recently learned that expression - it's dead on).

The part that worries me most, isn't that he's drinking on a night Yannick is not there with him. The part that worries me, is that he's in fucking denial again. Once again, the excessive drinking was the marriage's fault (also known as: it was your fault). Once again, I am to ask about his drinking when Yannick is there (he's not - I do believe him (and my mom having checked up on him), but I also know that this road might very well lead to: not yet), but not about what he does in his own time. Once again, he feels like throwing in he has a new girlfriend, all boasting. Once again, he's suggesting stupid stuff - this time that Yannick didn't miss me when I was away. And the best part: the stuff that put my son in danger when we were still married, the stuff that made me decide to walk away and keep walking, that stuff is once again labeled a minor incident.

Thanks so much, asshole. Because this time, again, you talking out of your ass is a sure sign that you cannot be trusted in your judgment. And now, I'm back balancing on that tight rope again, praying to god that it'll work out if I keep my cool and try and talk to him when he's sober and I don't have to act in a way that will hurt my son, no matter if it's in his best interest under these conditions. His best interest is for us to be as stable as possible - this world is going to be hard enough for him as it is.

I'm really going to blog about my trip. The damn world cup keeps getting in the way :)