Let's get physical

I need to work out.

I think we can come to the conclusion that my body isn't going to jump back into its24 year old version, although I have the same size as my 24 year old self. I am really a 36 year old mom, thinner or not.

When the fuck did this happen? You mean I can't get away with getting fat and then losing it once again without any consequence, anymore? Seriously?

My stomach is still out and not in. My chest looks like I was a chicken in a previous life. My arms are not keeping pace with that chest. My ass is flat. FLAT. I made a deal with God, years ago. Since I didn't inherit my mothers fabulous legs, I wouldn't inherit her lack of ass either. Way to get back on your word, God. I think I deserve a bikini summer, dude, not sweating what's left of my ass off in a supportive bathing suit.

But yeah - either I win the lottery and pay a visit to the plastic surgeon or I need to start working out.

I did start to run every morning this week. Not that that will really help me getting my ass back. I just woke up really early one morning (darn birds chirping their heads off), decided to raid my wardrobe once again looking for clothes that aren't too big and came across my old shock absorber (really, hamster). Tried it on, acknowledged it fit me once more, put on the running shoes that had been collecting dust under my bed ever since I bought them and went out.

It felt amazing. Not that I'm not terribly, TERRIBLY out of shape. I only run for 15 minutes each morning (and 3-5 minutes of those are spent on stretching). But the effect is pretty stiff. I feel more energized then I have in months.
There's a yoga/pilates studio around the corner from my house. Make the call and sign up Esther. Do it, do it, do it.

a pre-order

I pre-ordered Big Whiskey etc. today. But not the CD. Just for my I-pod.

I feel like such a traitor. It's a gnawing feeling. A new release and I'm settling for MP3.

However, 14.99 for the CD and 16.00 for shipping? Are you kidding me? So I'll wait for the Dutch record stores to wake up in about half a year and import the darn thing.

I'm cheap. I know.

Friday Movie Night: Buddha collapsed out of shame

... I don't know. I think it would be too much for all you Hollywood people (ha, ha, ha). Thick with metaphores, obviously no budget, hardly any action.

Beautiful.

So what is it about? As if you want to know. Nevertheless - it's about a little girl in Afghanistan (5? Maybe 6? How did that find her?) who wants to go to school. In order to be able to attend class, she needs a pen and a notebook. She doesn't have either and she certainly doesn't have any money. The film is about her struggle to obtain pen and paper and her way to school (and back). That's it. Just that.

Finally some good news for the kid

Thanks for the link, Meeks.

Dreaming about a place I'll never see

I got the mixer. Do I feel victorious? No.

I've become an expert in keeping a poker face. Letting things slide off my back, just to keep the peace and not push him too far. He's been so unpredictable, I do not dare to trust any of his moods yet - even though his current mood is giddy. He has a new girlfriend, he's in love with her and he is freed of the "worst marriage ever". Sure, whatever you say, good for you. Want more coffee?

In the meantime, I need to find a way to vent because once again, my balancing on this rope is starting to take its toll. I'm still losing weight and god knows me getting underweight is not around the corner, nor the next five, but the speed with which I'm losing weight is kind of frightening. There's only one, 1, O-N-E pair of trousers left that does not fall off my ass as soon as I put them on. Thank god I'm such a hamster, because at least I've been holding on to all my old tops from the age of 25. It's not that it doesn't look good, it's just that it's all at such speed. Where'd you go, fat? (Of course, my tummy will never be the same either way. You can still see that I carried a toddler in it for nine months).

(I need to shut up - I finally get back my old weight and here I am whining about it).

In more fun news - I've been invited to go to San Diego in September and travel up north after (hitting LA, Santa Barbara, Santa Cruz and of course good old SF). I might do it - depends on whether I can afford to fly back home via another city. Or two.

In less fun news - partner alimony (so NOT the costs for Yannick - we split that 60/40): 50% of my net available salary, for the duration of five years. What do you think? I think that's a bit long for three years of marriage.

want to hear something good?

I got a promotion. I am now manager of my team.

F
I
N
A
L
L
Y
.

No complaining though - it's pretty awesome considering the state of the world these days.

I really want to update...

... but I'm too busy fighting over the damn mixer.

AAAAAAAAH!